On the Couch, week four

For PV's thoughts on the Viking game, see "Coming off the Ledge: Packers 23, Vikings 16." "On the Couch" is a chance to talk about other NFL games. The title refers not only to sitting on the couch watching football, but to lying on the couch during psychoanalysis. This blog is therapy for me. And that means it sometimes needs to be a place for me to whine. Guess what? This is one of those days.

It's a good week to be grading papers: the Vikings lost to the Packers, and my Hazelweird League fantasy team is staring at an 0-8 week. I don't want to read anything about football this week, and I just want next weekend to come sooner. I suspect I'll get a lot of real work done this week.

Earlier this week I wondered whether Steve Smith should be benched on fantasy teams since David Carr is starting over Jake Delhomme for the Panthers. 32 yards later, I wish I had listened to myself.

My Hazelweird League fantasy squad has cursed another quarterback. Donovan McNabb 2007, join the fraternity that includes Kurt Warner 2002 and Daunte Culpepper 2005.

On a week like this, we have to remind ourselves there are things beyond football to live for. Oh, sure: Family, Church, Work. Of course. But there's got to be some more fun. There's musical theater. At least we still have that, and you never really lose with showtunes. And there's sex. Sex is more fun than football, right? And both Journeyman and Dirty Sexy Money have potential. Ah, hell, those shows don't have enough potential to redeem a crappy Viking season.

I always pay a little attention to the baseball playoffs for one reason: I want to see tortured fans have their pain assuaged with a championship. I know there are a lot of other team fanbases and city fanbases that have suffered a lot of disappointments and championship droughts, and I'm always happy for them when they get to see their teams win championships. So this year the city of Cleveland (no pro titles since 1964) and the city of Philadelphia (no pro titles since 1983) have contenders. And of course there are the Cubs. And the Padres could advance, too, and I don't recall any San Diego titles since the AFL was a separate league. So Cleveland, Philadelphia, San Diego, and Chicago, I'm hoping for you.

By the way, next year I'm following baseball. I don't care, I'm doing it. I'm a depressed Minnesota sports fan. The Vikings stink. The Al Jefferson Reformation (we've got too many Revolutions here, and we've got room for some Reformations) looks fun, but the Wolves aren't doing anything as long as Kevin McHale is the decision maker. The Twins are the best chance for a pro championship in Minnesota (or the Wild, but I have no idea what that's all about). I was a fan as a little kid when Kirby Puckett slapped a couple banners up there (the only pro banners in Minnesota since the Lakers moved to L.A.). I haven't paid attention to the Twins since Puckett retired, but I'm jumping back on the train now. Is there room, Twin fans? Can I root along with you to see the Twins win another title? Oh, hell, it's still baseball, and I'll still be bored. Nevermind. All the best, but I'll just soak in the misery of rooting for the Vikings and Timberwolves.

Thanks for listening to me bitch. I'll try do better next time.