Tuesday, March 13, 2007

We mossn't despair

When I heard on the radio that today the Packers are trying to acquire Randy Moss, I pulled on my belt, bent down, and vomited down the front of my pants. As I sat in the gristle of my own vomit, I was thinking of where to spend Sundays away from TV, phone, radio, and internet. I made a list of museums and parks when I realized something.

This could end badly. Very badly. Tragicomically badly.

I mean, why wouldn't it? This is RANDY MOSS. With Moss, everything always ends badly. I can't think of much of anything that has ended well with Randy Moss involved.

So now I'm ready to sit back, relax, and watch the fireworks. This will go horribly in ways we can't currently imagine. We can't even conceive of the types of things that will happen. But most of it will be bad. So enjoy, suckers. Enjoy.


  1. Reason why we should despair.

    Brett Favre will finally have another go-to WR that he will target no matter what and Moss will find motivation 2 a year to make sure the Purple and Gold dont get a W. Remember his rookie year when he torched all those teams that passed on him in the draft well imagine what it is going to be like when he gets to play the two teams that traded him (if this occurs). He gets Minnesota twice and Oakland once.

    We moss despair.

  2. Is Randy Moss that much of a jackass to ruin Brett Favre's last season?

  3. Anonymous12:28 PM

    Blue Devil forgets, Randy Moss had ankles in his rookie year. What has he done the past three seasons to scare anybody consistently? Good luck Peckers in making this trade. I agree with PV, sit back and enjoy the show.
    Good for the Pecker fans to watch the same player who mooned them and now pretend they like him.

  4. Anonymous12:52 PM

    Pulled on your belt?! Where are the suspenders?!

  5. Who has he had throwing the ball to him the past 3 seasons?

    Daunte Culpepper (for a little bit, until that ruptured knee)
    Brad Johnson
    Aaron Brooks
    Marques Tuiasosopo
    Andrew Walters

    Brett Favre with one gimpy leg and a broken arm could throw better and run an offense better than all in that group but Culpepper (prior to knee injury when he had a dumbed down offense led by Matt Birk calling out defenses so he could get the ball to his receivers.)

    If Moss goes to the Packers I will be scared and I will not know what to do. Except bid $100 for him in our fantasy draft only to see Robert bid $101.