Tuesday, August 21, 2007


At first I was skeptical. I just wasn't sure what you were trying to say. But you've finally won me over with the subtlety and sophistication of your argument.

I now believe you were right all along and continue to be right. An NFL team would be wise to fire its head coach immediately before training camp starts. And an NFL team would be wise to fire its head coach after two preseason games. Indeed, it now seems quite obvious that the Vikings would be better off beginning a new head coach search in late August. By firing Childress now, abandoning all the work and implementation of the off-season and starting fresh with whatever coaching candidate is currently unemployed in late August, the Vikings have a better chance at success than they would have sticking with Childress to find out if he can build a winner and if his efforts this off-season can pay off. Just one season is clearly enough to determine whether or not a coach can actually be successful or not. If the Vikings didn't realize this in January, they could at least realize it NOW!!!!!! and fix their mistake. Even if the team is familiar with and ready to execute the plan put in place all off-season, I think pulling that out from under all the players and starting fresh with a coach who has three weeks to put in a new plan is a good idea. I haven't been won over by any new data or analysis; I've been won over by the strong eloquence of your argument.

And oh what an argument. A lesser intellect might think the strength of your argument lies in the multiple exclamation points or in the redundant repetition of your argument. But I understand the real strengths of rhetoric, and I can see clearly that the power of your argument lies in the use of Caps Lock. "Fire Childress Now!!!!!" would never have convinced me; "FIRE CHILDRESS NOW!!!!!!" shows eloquence and wisdom. Any reasonable person would have to agree with you.

Judging by your style, I am guessing that you are about 12 years old (by the way, did you enjoy High School Musical 2?) Keep honing these eloquent argumentative strategies and techniques; they are really going to help you when you reach high school. With a little effort, you might even convince your parents to let you stay out past 10:00 or to let you play your video games two hours a day instead of one.

Beyond the clear superiority, intelligence, and eloquence of your argument, I admire most your philosophical groundedness. You've realized that the best way to spend your life is by spamming one little-read blog with the same message again and again and again (and again). Buddha and Jesus would have a lot to learn from you about the spiritual meaning of life. When Sartre spoke of an authentic life, clearly he was referring to a life spent typing "FIRE CHILDRESS NOW!!!!!!" repeatedly for a few people to see (though I've wondered: do you type it out new every time, or do you copy and paste the message? I always hope you write it out new each time: that sort of monastic dedication and focus is truly admirable in our day and age).

Now that you've convinced me (you convinced all my readers long ago) that the Vikings should FIRE CHILDRESS NOW!!!!!!, I suppose you can retire to a peaceful existence, content that you have shown a few ignorant internet readers the light of truth. Your efforts have been greatly appreciated, and we wish you happiness and joy in your restful retirement from typing FIRE CHILDRESS !!!!!!!.


  1. Hi Pacifist. I've linked your site. It is nice commentary.

    Could you do the same?


    Thanks so much and keep up the great work. I will be back!

  2. Fire Childress Now guy is clearly annoying.

    But, Pacifist, are you really pleased with Childress?

  3. MASTERFUL!!!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!!!

  4. Anonymous9:20 PM

    Fire Childress Now!!!!