Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Whatever (or, my trip to Maury)

I cheer for a horrible basketball team. Whatever. You don't know. You don't know. I've been rooting for this horrible basketball team for a long, long time. I do what I want. I used to cheer for Christian Laettner. Whatever. Then my horrible basketball team got a superstar. They had him for 12 years. In those 12 years they only won two playoff series. Whatever. My horrible basketball team has a horrible executive named Kevin McHale. You don't know. You don't know. They have an owner that won't ever fire him. Whatever. So in 12 years they won two playoff series with this superstar. You don't know. Then the horrible executive trades him to another horrible team, mostly for the horrible players on that team that made it a horrible team. Whatever. This horrible executive used to play for that team back when it was good, and he's a former teammate of that team's executive that until now looked pretty horrible. Whatever. So that superstar that I cheered for for 12 years, that got to win two playoff series in 12 seasons, goes to another team. Whatever. That happens to be the team that has won 16 NBA championships. They happen to play in the region/city that has won three Super Bowls and two World Series this decade. Whatever. I do what I want. And then in one season, just one, that superstar wins a championship with another team. Whatever. You don't know. I get to see him celebrating his championship, somehow feeling good for him but miserable for Minnesota. Whatever. I do what I want. So that team now has 17 championships. Whatever. That city now gets its sixth championship parade in eight years. Whatever. The Twin Cities hasn't had a team reach the championship round since 1991. Whatever. I do what I want. I cheer for a horrible basketball team. My horrible basketball team doesn't have a single player that could start for an NBA champion. Whatever. That superstar was held back by a horribly run franchise for 12 seasons, and that's pretty well proven by his championship in one year on a new team with good teammates. Whatever. You don't know. You don't know. I do what I want. I still live here, and I still root for this horrible basketball team, and that superstar I used to root for wins a championship with another team, and we've still got that horrible executive named Kevin McHale that's pretty much trying to make every Timberwolves fan miserable but the freaking owner of the team doesn't seem to give a crap and lets him run this franchise into the ground, a franchise that was almost--almost--saved by the one good decision this horrible executive ever made, drafting this superstar. Whatever. I'll probably never see the Timberwolves win a championship. Whatever. You don't know. Who cares if I cheer for a basketball team that will always fail? I do what I want. Who cares if the best player in that franchise's history goes to another city to bring a franchise its 17th championship and its city a sixth championship parade this decade? I don't care. I do what I want.



  1. Remember when that whale stole your T-wolves hat? Three years ago? In the Atlantic? Just outside of Boston? I'm just saying... that might've been some sort of foreshadow of things to come.

    Too bad you're not coming to Boston until next week or you could GO to the parade.

  2. Anonymous3:11 PM

    this title proves that any moron can run a basketball team. how stupid are basketball execs that it took this long for someone to finally do what every idiot fan would do and trade for a couple hall of famers? they used the same strategy i've used on john madden football for 10 years. they call it masterful and brilliant. i say it's common sense. any idiot can run a franchise which says how stupid some of these people must be.


  3. Anonymous9:38 PM

    Just so McHale doesn't make it worse and draft Kevin Love.