Monday, October 30, 2006

What was that bang?'s Viking-Patriot preview

The Vikings are priming for tonight’s game against the Patsies, when they will leap into the national consciousness and let everybody know the Purple People Eaters are back. If Pat Williams could have lined up next to Alan Page, the Vikings would never have lost a single Super Bowl.

Let’s take a look at the key points in this game. It is completely pointless, as the Vikes are going to romp in the Thunderdome, but it’s all for laughs at this point.

Minnesota defensive line stopping New England’s run
Laurence Maroney nothing. When’s the last time Corey Dillon did anything worth anything? They’re facing the #1 run defense in the NFL, friends, and Pat Williams and Kevin Williams are about to put a crushing on any semblance of a running game for the Patsies. KW and PW need a nickname from How to be a Player. I prefer “Thick and Thicker” to “The Double-Scoop Twins.” Every time a hapless RB runs into the middle, we should scream, “What happened to the sun!” Stopping the run will make Brady and the Patsies dependent on throwing, and the Viking blitz is going to come running in as Thunderdome vibrates with noise. Stop Tom Brady, then, and beat the Pats badly.

Minnesota offensive line plowing all over the New England defense
Matt Birk, Steve Hutchinson, and Bryant McKinnie will help Chester Taylor to be leading the league in rushing by the end of the night. Get ready for a mauling. As long as Brad Johnson keeps handing it off to Taylor, the Vikes can hang onto the ball and avoid turnovers. Then comes play-action and some big plays.

Turnovers
The Viking defense can force turnovers from every level: the defensive line, the linebackers, and the secondary. And they can score. Remember, you don’t score until you score. And the Vikings defense will score. Who on the Patriots is going to force Viking turnovers? Nobody. It’s not happening.

Thunderdome
If this game were in Massachusetts, maybe I’d think differently. But this is in the Metrodome, which has a life of its own. I see Chester Taylor rushing for 150 yards, the Viking defense scoring a couple of TDs and stopping the Patriot offense cold, the special teams playing great at every spot, and Minnesota dominating from start to finish.

44-7 Vikes.

4 comments:

  1. I love the enthusiasm. Just Beautiful.

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  2. evidently you have no faith in tom brady. i thought he was 'tom terrific.' i hate to say it but i bet he beats you tonight. and good.

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  3. The Babaganoosh7:07 PM

    I think having the Patriots lose 44 to 7 to anybody (though I prefer it would be the Bears in three weeks) would be the most enjoyable game I could ever watch, seeing as I wasn't yet alive when the Bears put up 61 points on the Packers.

    I can't believe I'm actually rooting for the Vikings in this game, but there I am. Stomp the Patsies!

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  4. Who is this Bang guy and what kind of idiot have you allowed to post on your blog. I am thinking of never reading this blog again because of this atrocity.

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