I don't what what percentage of men have moustaches. I would guess it's pretty low, but I admit I haven't been paying attention. The percentage is clearly higher than the percentage of women with moustaches. But that is neither here nor there.
But NFL head coaches have moustaches at an alarmingly high rate. There are only 32 head coaches, and Bill Cowher, Romeo Crennel, Mike Holmgren, Tony Dungy, Jeff Fisher, Andy Reid, and Brad Childress all frequently don the stache. That's 7 of 32. And there are others I can't recall offhand (and guess what, this public library computer has trouble opening two browsers; whither September when the Pacifist Viking blog comes off it's part-time suckassedness and returns to full-time suckassedness?): it seems to me Herm Edwards and Denny Green occasionally go moustachioed.
So, is this the source of some ultimate football power? Does the moustache convey a personage who cares nothing about his personal life and grooming, and is so consumed by football that nothing else matters? Does it make it difficult for the opposing team to hire lip-readers to try and steal play calls?
In an attempt to discover the ultimate football knowledge that lies in the moustache, I will be growing one for the impending fantasy football draft. What secrets will I hide in it? What special powers will it grant me?