When I heard on the radio that today the Packers are trying to acquire Randy Moss, I pulled on my belt, bent down, and vomited down the front of my pants. As I sat in the gristle of my own vomit, I was thinking of where to spend Sundays away from TV, phone, radio, and internet. I made a list of museums and parks when I realized something.
This could end badly. Very badly. Tragicomically badly.
I mean, why wouldn't it? This is RANDY MOSS. With Moss, everything always ends badly. I can't think of much of anything that has ended well with Randy Moss involved.
So now I'm ready to sit back, relax, and watch the fireworks. This will go horribly in ways we can't currently imagine. We can't even conceive of the types of things that will happen. But most of it will be bad. So enjoy, suckers. Enjoy.