Because the Universe hates you.

You should read Ernest Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms and The Old Man and the Sea. One of the basic ideas you should get from these novels (and from Hemingway's oeuvre) is that the Cosmos is hostile to your existence. This is perhaps the central premise of existentialism: you are born alone into a world you did not create and cannot understand that will ultimately destroy you.

Now, go check out these simple stats compiled by Gonzo over at the Daily Norseman. Now try to convince a Viking fan that the Universe is not hostile to my existence.

For years we watched a studly incredible offense get wasted by a completely incompetent defense. It was always fun to watch, but it was always futile.

Now we get to watch a studly incredible defense get wasted by a completely incompetent offense. It is not any fun to watch, and it is still always futile.

Hemingway also wrote "a man can be destroyed but not defeated." Whatever the hell that means. I guess the Vikings are the Universe's tool to destroy my very will and soul, but that ultimately my indefatiguable spirit cannot be defeated by the horrors of the Minnesota Vikings.