Long Research Project

I believe that too much focus is placed on championships when evaluating individual players. Certainly great players elevate their games in clutch moments, but championships are won by teams. For the sake of narrative simplicity, championships often get personified by an individual or small group. No matter what the causes of the Patriots three Super Bowls, Brady and Belichick will be the figures who leap out as the symbolic faces of those championships. As a result, Brady will get credit for winning the championships. In fact, the Patriots team won the championships (though I am firmly convinced that Brady and Belichick are the primary reasons they won the championships).

I thought I'd go back to 1957 (Bill Russell's rookie season, and in my mind the start of the NBA as we know it) and look at each season's champion. I would pick out the team's best player, then pick out the second best player, and see if there are other notable greats on the team. I can make arguments about why I'd choose a player as the best or second best on the team, but I'll save them for now. Choosing comes from statistical and non-statistical reasoning. The point here is to look at the individual players who personify their teams' championships, and then see what help there was.

I'm collecting the data from basketball-reference.com. For the second best players, I'll list their ppg, rpg, and apg to illustrate their contributions. I'm giving regular season stats, but I'm looking at playoff stats too to determine importance to team.

I'm doing this for two reasons. First, I want to show that most great players that win championships do so because they have other great players around them. Second, I want to see which players we could say really did carry teams to championships; in other words, who won titles with the worst #2? That's hard to say in the cases of teams that are legendary for their team play, but I'll still take Rick Barry in '75 and Hakeem Olajuwon in '94 for winning titles without a great #2 at the time.

1957: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Bob Cousy (20.6-4.8-7.5)
Others: Bill Sharman

1958: St. Louis Hawks
Best Player: Bob Pettitt
#2: Cliff Hagen (19.9-10.1-2.5)

1959: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Bob Cousy (20.0-5.5-8.6)
Others: Bill Sharman, Sam Jones

1960: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Tom Heinsohn (21.7-10.6-2.5)
Others: Bill Sharman, Bob Cousy, Sam Jones

1961: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Tom Heinsohn (21.3-9.9-1.9)
Others: Bill Sharman, Bob Cousy, Sam Jones

1962: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Tom Heinsohn (22.1-9.5-2.1)
Others: Bob Cousy, Sam Jones

1963: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Sam Jones (19.7-5.2-3.2)
Others: Bob Cousy, John Havlicek

1964: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Sam Jones (19.4-4.6-2.7)
Others: John Havlicek

1965: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Sam Jones (25.9-5.1-2.8)
Others: John Havlicek

1966: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: Sam Jones (23.2-5.1-3.2)
Others: John Havlicek

1967: Philadelphia 76ers
Best Player: Wilt Chamberlain
#2: Hal Greer (22.1-5.3-3.8)
Others: Chet Walker, Billy Cunningham

1968: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: John Havlicek (20.7-6.7-4.7)
Others: Sam Jones

1969: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Bill Russell
#2: John Havlicek (21.6-7.0-5.4)
Others: Sam Jones

1970: New York Knicks
Best Player: Willis Reed
#2: Walt Frazier (20.9-6.0-8.2)
Others: Dave DeBusschere

1971: Milwaukee Bucks
Best Player: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
#2: Oscar Robertson (19.4-5.7-8.2)

1972: Los Angeles Lakers
Best Player: Wilt Chamberlain
#2: Jerry West (25.8-4.2-9.7)
Others: Gail Goodrich

1973: New York Knicks
Best Player: Walt Frazier
#2: Earl Monroe (15.5-3.3-3.8)
Others: Dave DeBusschere, Willis Reed, Jerry Lucas

1974: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Dave Cowens
#2: John Havlicek (22.6-6.4-5.9)
Others: Jo Jo White

1975: Golden State Warriors
Best Player: Rick Barry
#2: Jamaal Wilkes (14.2-8.2-2.2)

1976: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Dave Cowens
#2: Jo Jo White (18.9-3.8-5.4)
Others: John Havlicek

1977: Portland Trailblazers
Best Player: Bill Walton
#2: Maurice Lucas (20.6-11.4-2.9)

1978: Washington Bullets
Best Player: Elvin Hayes
#2: Wes Unseld (7.6-11.9-4.1)
Others: Bob Dandridge

1979: Seattle Supersonics
Best Player: Gus Williams
#2: Dennis Johnson (15.9-4.7-3.5)
Others: Jack Sikma

1980: LA Lakers
Best Player: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
#2: Magic Johnson (18.0-7.7-7.3)
Others: Jamaal Wilkes, Norm Nixon

1981: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Larry Bird
#2: Robert Parish (18.9-9.5-1.8)
Others: Cedric Maxwell, Tiny Archibald, Kevin McHale

1982: LA Lakers
Best Player: Magic Johnson
#2: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (23.9-8.7-3.0)
Others: Jamaal Wilkes, Norm Nixon

1983: Philadelphia 76ers
Best Player: Moses Malone
#2: Julius Erving (21.4-6.8-3.7)
Others: Andrew Toney

1984: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Larry Bird
#2: Robert Parish (19.0-10.7-1.7)
Others: Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson

1985: LA Lakers
Best Player: Magic Johnson
#2: Kareem Abdul Jabbar (22.0-7.9-3.2)
Others: James Worthy, Byron Scott

1986: Boston Celtics
Best Player: Larry Bird
#2: Kevin McHale (21.3-8.1-2.7)
Others: Robert Parish, Dennis Johnson, Bill Walton)

1987: LA Lakers
Best Player: Magic Johnson
#2: James Worthy (19.4-5.7-2.8)
Others: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Byron Scott

1988: LA Lakers
Best Player: Magic Johnson
#2: James Worthy (19.7-5.0-3.9)
Others: Byron Scott, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1989: Detroit Pistons
Best Player: Isiah Thomas
#2: Joe Dumars (17.2-2.5-5.7)
Others: Dennis Rodman

1990: Detroit Pistons
Best Player: Isiah Thomas
#2: Joe Dumars (17.8-2.8-4.9)
Others: Dennis Rodman

1991: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (17.8-7.3-6.2)

1992: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (21.0-7.7-7.0)

1993: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (18.6-7.7-6.3)

1994: Houston Rockets
Best Player: Hakeem Olajuwon
#2: Otis Thorpe (14.0-10.6-3.6)

1995: Houston Rockets
Best Player: Hakeem Olajuwon
#2: Clyde Drexler (21.4-7.0-4.4)

1996: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (19.4-6.4-5.9)
Others: Dennis Rodman

1997: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (20.2-6.5-5.7)
Others: Dennis Rodman

1998: Chicago Bulls
Best Player: Michael Jordan
#2: Scottie Pippen (19.1-5.2-5.8)
Others: Dennis Rodman

1999: San Antonio Spurs
Best Player: Tim Duncan
#2: David Robinson (15.8-10.0-2.1)

2000: LA Lakers
Best Player: Shaquille O'Neal
#2: Kobe Bryant (22.5-6.3-4.9)
Others: Glen Rice

2001: LA Lakers
Best Player: Shaquille O'Neal
#2: Kobe Bryant (28.5-5.9-5.0)

2002: LA Lakers
Best Player: Shaquille O'Neal
#2: Kobe Bryant (25.2-5.5-5.5)

2003: San Antonio Spurs
Best Player: Tim Duncan
#2: Tony Parker (15.5-2.6-5.3)
Others: David Robinson

2004: Detroit Pistons
Best Player: Ben Wallace
#2: Chauncey Billups (16.9-3.5-5.7)
Others: Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, Rasheed Wallace

2005: San Antonio Spurs
Best Player: Tim Duncan
#2: Manu Ginobli (16.0-3.4-4.4)
Others: Tony Parker

2006: Miami Heat
Best Player: Dwyane Wade
#2: Shaquille O'Neal (20.0-9.2-1.9)

Soon it will be football day...

My favorite day of the year is the opening Sunday of football. Alas, the Vikes don't even play until Monday at 6:00 central. I'll be teaching from 5:00-8:00 (and it's tough to cancel the first day of class), followed by a half-hour commute home. If the antenna and VCR all work together.... This is roughly the 435th time I've whined about this. I will whine about this roughly 678 more times. Anyway, a few football thoughts.

My favorite "what if": The Miami Dolphins
We all know that when the last undefeated team of each season loses, the '72 Dolphins celebrate. But what would happen if the last team to lose is...the Miami Dolphins! I would LOVE to see the Dolphins start out 10-0 sometime and see what the old-timers do. I can't even begin to describe how excited I am that such an occurance COULD happen.

One of the top 32 starting QBs in the NFL
A peeve: how easily and thoughtlessly people throw out things like "he's one of the top 3 players in the league" or "he's one of the top 5 QBs in the league" and all that without actually giving it some thought. Often, when you do think about the comment briefly, you realize the claim is totally outrageous. Now, Peter King does this ALL THE TIME, but I've also read columns in which he explores, for example, how many QBs he'd take over Drew Brees. That's good. Don't be lazy: if you're going to say "he's a top 3 running back" or whatever, give it some thought and make sure there aren't 3 other RBs you'd take over whoever you're talking about. Otherwise we've got 10 "Top 5" players at any given time.

Vikings
All I can really predict for the 2006 Vikings is this: they will go between 5-11 and 11-5. I'm not sure they have more than 11 wins in them, and I'm pretty sure aren't worse than 5 wins. Nothing in between will suprise me. New coach, new offensive system, new defensive system...I have no idea. All I can do is approach every season hoping this is the one where I'll see the beloved Purple win a Super Bowl.

Anxiety
Every year I dread the possibility of seeing the Packers win a Super Bowl. If I had to witness the Packers win a 13th championship before the Vikes win their first...well, that would be difficult to stomach. Plus I despise Favre. I watch Packer playoff games with as much nervousness as I watch any Viking game. This season, I don't fear the Packers winning the Super Bowl. I do fear Favre throwing his 420th and 421st TD pass. But there's also something to be hopeful for: interception number 277 and 278. During the season, each week I will give a Favre tally at this blog. Favre has 396 TDs and 255 INTs--so he's 24 away from the TD record and 22 from the INT record. Which will he break? Both? Then which first? What sort of odds are we looking at here? And should I just start a separate anti-Favre blog to keep the venom off this one?

Fun Fantasy Football Rules

Some friends and I have been discussing ways to turn our impending fantasy football draft into a drinking game. Here are some other rules I'd like to suggest.

Person to select Brett Favre: take two pills of Vicodin and throw an interception to my kitten.

People who select Randy McMichael or Ahman Green: since real domestic violence is never funny, you just have to create a straw figure of your significant other, then start fighting.

Person to select Peyton Manning: Start really strong and confident, then start wilting anytime anybody looks at you, and come up short with stupid picks repeatedly as the draft comes to a close.

Person to select Ben Roethlisberger: Ride my bike straight into the garage door.

People who select Seattle Seahawks: It's only draft time, but it's not too early to start blaming the refs because you didn't win the championship.

Person to select Reggie Bush: on your next pick, act like you're going to be making an easy, no-brainer pick, then throw a lateral to a slow player running behind you and pick somebody who sucks.

Person to select Terrell Owens: by rule, you automatically receive Donovan McNabb, but you are obligated to spend the season talking about how much better you'd be with Brett Favre.

First person to make a joke about how you'd like to draft Eli Manning, but you're worried he'll refuse to play for your team: everybody present gets to punch you in the throat or in the crotch. It's the puncher's choice.

Person to select Drew Brees: you must smear something onto your face in the shape of his birthmark.

Person to select Randy Moss: when you've decided to make your pick, sit silently doing nothing. As your time winds down and somebody asks you to hurry up and make a pick, shout, "I pick when I want to pick!" If the commissioner threatens to fine you if you don't get your pick in on time, say "straight cash homey." When you finally do select Moss, pretend to take a crap on the floor and then pretend to wipe your ass on the wall (under no circumstances should you ACTUALLY crap on the floor and wipe your ass on the wall).

Person to select Daunte Culpepper: First, start trying to pick up a drink but repeatedly fumble it. Then try throw out a pick but allow it to be easily intercepted. Then send everybody an email telling them how you feel.

Person to select Mewelde Moore: start making the pick, and then act like you got injured trying to do it.

OK, some real drinking game rules.

First to select a QB: take a drink

First to select a TE: take a drink

First to select a D: take a shot

First to select a K: take a shot

First Homer Pick: take a shot

(this includes drafting players on your favorite NFL team OR alumni from your favorite college team. If I draft a UCLA Bruin, I take a shot. If Justin drafts a Duke Blue Devil...ah, hell, my brother at Bemidji State has a better chance of drafting a Beaver than Justin has of selecting a Blue Devil.)

First Reach Pick: take a shot

First Double Pick: take a double shot and remove one article of clothing

(In a snake draft, trying to draft a player who has already been selected is a cardinal sin.)

We need more suggestions: both of the first variety, and the second.

Wade's place in NBA history

Here's the question: how many NBA players have won NBA championships within their first three years AS THE BEST PLAYER ON THEIR TEAMS?

It's a short list.

Bill Russell won in his 1st and 3rd year.
Magic Johnson won in his 1st and 3rd year (Kareem was MVP Magic's rookie year, but Magic was Finals MVP, so for the sake of argument, let's consider Magic the team's best player for these two titles).
Larry Bird won in his 2nd year.
Tim Duncan won in his 2nd year.
Dwayne Wade won in his 3rd year.

So Wade is definitely already an all-timer.

However, let's look closer at these players before making assumptions about the meaning of this in all-time greatness.

Russell joined a Celtic team that featured Bob Cousy and Bill Sharman, both voted in '96 to be among the 50 greatest NBA players ever.

Magic joined a team that featured Kareem Abdul-Jabar, who is a legitimate contender for GREATEST PLAYER EVER status.

Larry Legend won his first title in '81 playing alongside three members of the '96 50 Greatest: Robert Parrish, Kevin McHale, and Tiny Archibald.

Tim Duncan joined an aging but still effective David Robinson.

And Wade was on a team that added an aging but still effective Shaquille O'Neal in his second year.

Certainly this is an impressive list of players. But each joined a team that was already loaded with some talent that could compliment them.

(one other comment on Wilt as the greatest athlete ever: I looked at the back of a card and learned that in the 1961-62 season, Wilt played all but 8 possible minutes of the NBA season. Yet you're not going to hear him mentioned with Cal Ripken, Lance Armstrong, or Brett Favre [who actually doesn't even have the record for most consecutive games played, though he gets all sorts of credit--Jim Marshall had the record until a pointless punter broke it. We don't recognize punters here at Pacifist Viking--all hail Jim Marshall] as the paragons of durability and stamina in American sports lore. He should be).

Wilt

I believe Wilt Chamberlain is the greatest individual athlete in the history of American team sports--and it's not even close.

Let's look at some of his most amusing numbers. These are taken from various sources, such as the back of a '96 Topps Stars card, NBA at 50 edited by Mark Vancil, http://www.basketball-reference.com, Who's Better Who's Best in Basketball? by Elliot Kalb, and whatever is sitting around in my memory from who knows where.

1. In his entire career, he never once fouled out of a game.

Think about that. Think about the body control such a feat requires, particularly for a center.

2. In one season, he averaged 48.5 minutes per game.

You have to look at that number and think about it for a second. Seriously. A legitimate argument could be made that Wilt has more stamina than any athlete on record. He also has the NBA record for career minutes per game (45.8). You could make the argument that Wilt's rebounding and scoring numbers are inflated because he played in a run-and-gun era that had way more team shots attempted per game. But that also means that Wilt averaged more than a complete game during the run-and-gun era, and he set the record for minutes-per-game in a run-and-gun era. And according to NBA at 50, Wilt also had 47 consecutive COMPLETE GAMES.

3. He's the only NBA player to have led the league in points/game, rebounds/game, and assists/game.

Is this an argument for Wilt as the most versatile basketball player ever?

4. He has the record for points in a game (100) and points per game in a season (50.4).

5. He has the record for rebounds in a game (55), rebounds per game in a season (27.2), and career rebounds per game (22.9).

That 55 came against Russell. He also has the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th, and 7th highest rebounding average seasons (though I actually believe Dennis Rodman is the greatest rebounder ever).

6. He has the highest points per game in a season (50.4), and the second (44.8), and the third (38.4).

The next highest is Elgin Baylor, who averaged 38.3 in 48 games. That means the next best scorer to Wilt (who also played in the same run-and-gun era) has a career high scoring average that is 76% of Wilt's career high, but that Wilt actually has two other seasons better than that. Michael Jordan's highest scoring average in a season was 37.1, which Wilt beat in his rookie year (37.6). Wilt also has more 50 point games than anybody (122 to Jordan's 37, and Wilt once had 45 in one season), 60 pt. games (32-4), and 70 pt. games (6-1).

When I look at these numbers, I cannot help but think he is the greatest basketball player ever. Certainly arguments can be made for Bill Russell (you can't argue with winning, but 11 championships is a team achievement), Jordan (I think the greatest non-center), Magic, Bird (unquestionably the greatest forward), and Kareem (a ridiculous career when you take a hard look at it: 6 MVPs, 6 championships, more points than anybody ever). Maybe you could make an argument for Oscar Robertson, to (he would compete with Magic as the greatest all-around guard).

But Wilt's records in his sport are so far superior to any #2 in his sport, and his ridiculous feats of athleticism and stamina make him the greatest in any sport.

It's Fantasy Football Draft Season!!!

Very few things get the three exclamation points from me. At most, I usually give a sarcastic single exclamation point for things that aren't really exciting. But let me tell you--fantasy football draft season deserves three exclamation points!!!

I like to compile my own rankings with statistics from various internet sources. So far I've had trouble actually doing the kicker and defense rankings. I figure it's in kickers and defense that FFB mags make their money. Most of us can figure out which skill position players to draft, even the obscure late-rounders. But good fantasy kickers and defenses are often not those that you'd think. But I am ready to tackle my rankings.

I'm also ready to make outrageous claims about who I'll be drafting (my poor finish last season netted me the #2 pick this season--so far, I've claimed I'll be drafting a Viking QB with that pick. I've got a little over two months to space out the rest of my ridiculous claims).

Once my rankings are done, all that's left is to try to glean information from the other acquaintances in the fantasy league (they're actually my friends, but you don't want to be too close during this subterfuge period) beforehand, and try to fake people out with crazy claims that sound half-way reasonable so that people might actually think they're true ("I'm really high on David Givens. I like the potential of what he could do in Norm Chow's offense"). I also try to mix in some real claims with the ridiculous ones so that people will think that the real claims are mixed in with the ridiculous ("I like Aaron Brooks, Peyton Manning, and Charlie Frye at QB this year"), then you have to confuse people further, wondering if you were trying to give truths as lies mixed in lies ("At least one Jets' WR has to step up." "I can't wait to find out who is starting at RB for the Colts, because he'll put up the same numbers as Edge." "What do you think of Byron Leftwich as a starting QB option?")

I'm glad the months preceding the Fantasy Football Draft include little else to focus on--it's a sports season in and of itself that requires full dedication and concentration. That's what my mind is on now. It's the best time of the year.

(By the way, I figure this is the year that T.J. Duckett really steps up into a dominant goal-line back. I'm also excited about what Donte Stallworth can do with Drew Brees throwing to him. I'm not sure Larry Johnson can live up to expectations--there's a new offensive system, Richardson is gone, and that line is getting old.)

In the past, I've been suckered into drafting Viking players too high (or paying too much when we do the auction). During Randy Moss's golden years, that didn't hurt me. Last year, it crashed bigtime. I leave it to the rubes to wonder whether I'll stick with the Vikes in FFB or avoid them until the later rounds.

(Though it will be hard to avoid Travis Taylor--I think he's the WR who will benefit from Childress's offense the most).

How do I love Maury? Let me count the ways.

Allow me to diverge from my usual remarks on sports to take on a different subject. As readers here know, my summer is technology depraved. I can check the internet once a week, only the upstairs of the house is air-conditioned, and the antenna picks up 9 channels (with various degrees of clarity). Recently I actually instinctively pressed "22" on the remote expecting to see ESPN only to get the white noise.

This means I have more time for activities like reading and working around the house. But it also means another thing:

Maury.

There's nothing to distract me from the beauty that is Maury.

Where would I be without him? How many ways can I express my appreciation for his stance of moral superiority as he exploits promiscuous women trying to find the biological source of their children, or the promiscuous teenage girls and their clearly traumatized mothers? Why, I wonder as I sit transfixed in front of the TV with Maury's show, am I watching? And why, dear God, am I laughing?

Yesterday Maury brought some women on for paternity testing who had been on the show multiple times. The most hilarious part was when they began with a montage of the previous episodes--over and over again, men jump up with joy while the women react in exactly the same way. One women went straight to the ground 4-5 times in a row in the exact same limp position. Every other woman stormed "backstage." All the while, Maury somehow fascilitated this madness with stern judgment, yet kindly understanding.

The other day a bunch of teenage girls came out and acted like they were doing a parody of Cartman's "Whatever! I do what I want!" Maury brings them out dressed like hookers to berate them in front of their crying mothers while the girls talk about how badly they want to have babies and they do what they want. The strange thing is, when they bring the next girl out, the other girls are just sitting there next to their mothers watching dumbly. At the end, instead of boot camp, an ex-prostitute came to lecture them. Apparently, if they keep having sex, they'll be living in boxes.

Would I take any time to watch Maury if I had internet? No. Would I take more than a few minutes to watch Maury if I had cable? No. Should I even be taking any time to watch it now? No. Actually, I'm embarrassed to watch the show with the windows open, lest my new neighbors or the mailman here it and judge me. Yet the richness and color of Maury continues to draw me back.

I don't have classes to teach, I don't have football to watch, so I barely even feel guilty for setting myself down for the glory and wonder that is Maury.

Steve Van Buren (and rants about NFL history)

When people discuss the all-time great RBs, usually there's Jim Brown, then a bunch of players from the 1970s and later. I'd like to add a player to the conversation: Steve Van Buren.

Just look at his numbers. In a much different era, he won rushing titles, cracked 1,000 twice, had a career 4.4 average (including a season of 5.8). He was the best offensive player on an Eagles team that won two championships. In one of those championship games, he rushed for 90+ yards and a TD. In the other, he rushed for 196 yards.

By the way, check out the Eagles' playoff record in 1947, 1948, and 1949. They played 4 playoff games and pitched 3 shutouts. The 1949 Eagles could make an argument for being one of the all-time great teams.

However, in discussions of all-time greatness, a lot of commentators refuse to go back that far. There are different checkpoints for different people: some go back to the first Super Bowl, or to Lombardi's Packers, some go back to the 1958 NFL Championship game, some go back to Otto Graham and the Browns. But you don't hear of too many players from the '20s, '30s, and '40s talked about in all-time great discussions. They get some credit, but it's talked about as if it wasn't even the same sport or league. However, the '30s and '40s featured two of the true all-time great QBs (Sammy Baugh and Sid Luckman) and a legitimate contender for all-time greatest WR (Don Hutson). It's hard to talk about people who we certainly didn't see play, and who clearly played in a league with different style and rules than the game we know and love today. But when we have discussions of the all-time great players at different positions, let's not pretend that pro football started with Johnny U and Jim Brown.

My favorite NBA reactions to "bad" calls

The wide-eyed shock
The player looks about with gigantic eyes, in utter shock, as if in total disbelief that anybody could make such an outrageous call. Sometimes the player adds a little smirk. Worst culprit: Tim Duncan

The clown
The player just laughs or smiles or smirks, as if to say that a given call is so ridiculous that is is funny. The call brings humor, but is so stupid one cannot even attempt to dispute it. Worst culprit: Rasheed Wallace

The wave away
Different players and coaches use halfway variations of this. My favorite is when the coach raises both hands above his head, bends the elbows, and thrusts his forearms out quickly while waving his hands. It is as if to say, "take that garbage back! I don't want anything to do with that ridiculousness!" Worse culprit: coaches

The further adventures of a technology-deprived sports fan

No internet, no cable, no idea about anything.

This is happening at the right time of the year. The NBA Finals will be on ABC, so I can watch all those games. Since I don't watch baseball, I don't really NEED to see anything in the summer. And then autumn comes, where even with the 9 channels I get, I should be able to watch 3-4 NFL games a week (and in autumn it's back to school and back to office internet access too).

I have not been able to see a single NBA highlight since I quit watching the Pistons-Cavs in the 4th quarter on Sunday. I keep hearing what happened the night before on the next day's radio shows, and have been able to piece events together based on commentary. I get whatever Viking news I can from local news, though local news is pretty focused on stadiums right now (no stadium for the most popular team in the state. Yay for democracy). Evidently we traded an undrafted free agent for somebody by the name of Billy McMullen or something. Now we've got 3 former Eagle offensive players: Mike McMahon, Artis Hicks, and Billy McMullen. Maybe McMullen returns kicks. Let's just say McMahon to McMullen doesn't fill me with Super Bowl fantasies (though I won the Super Bowl with the Vikes on Madden last night. Whenever that happens, I always watch the post-game celebration of purple-wearing players hugging each other around a giant trophy).

I'm hoping for a Dallas-Miami NBA Finals, because those teams are pretty fun to watch, and I wouldn't mind if either of them won the title.

Is the NBA missing something by giving so many playoff games to TNT and ESPN? The NFL is the most popular sports league and by far the most popular TV sport in America. They've built up popularity by putting the overwhelming majority of their games, including all playoff games, on broadcast channels. I realize those of us trying to save money by skipping cable aren't exactly the big spenders a sports league is trying to appeal to, but that wide appeal means something for long-term success. Ce la vie.

The Ill-informed

I'm making a transition to a poorly informed sports fan. I'm going to go without cable for a while and see how that treats me (for NBA playoffs, that treats me pretty lousy), and my internet access is at this library less than a mile from my house, where I'm limited to 60 minutes at a time (until September, anyway). I can follow local sports alright this way, but all I really know right now is that Cleveland is up on the Pistons 3-2 and that Dallas was up 3-1 over the Spurs and I don't know if that series is over yet (I guess I'll be checking that next).

Following sports is a different world when you decide to skip expensive technology. If I weren't in a library with 27 minutes left, I would think out and write a brilliant Marxist essay about sports fans who are without cable for economic reasons and thus don't get to watch the NBA playoffs on TNT and will miss Monday Night Football when it moves to ESPN and how most people pretend that such people don't exist (even though I'm going without cable, and two dedicated sports fan friends of mine, Rob and Justin, also go without cable) and what it means to pretend that such people don't exist or are making their own choices yada yada yada, and it would be developed and I would attempt to refute objections and all that, but I'm having trouble formulating it all right now in this library, plus my brain is fried from moving, thus this run-on sentence continues.

Anyway, did you ever notice the halftime show on Tecmo Super Bowl? It's all scantily clad ladies, and then this one brunette cheerleader jumps in the air and her skirt flips up. So you see, the games we played when we were kids were just as bad as Grand Theft Auto.

To everything there is a season

Is modern, urban man disconnected from the patterns of nature? Rural people had (and have) a close connection to the cyclical nature of the earth. Modern urban man in an industrialized society does not have need for these patterns and cycles (symbolized in the digital clock--instead of a meaningful, whole circle, time is fragmented and segmented) Certainly in Minnesota, where the weather experiences harsh changes and over 100 degrees of difference, we're not completely disconnected from nature's cycle.

But as a football fan, my life maintains a regular pattern that alters every aspect of my life. There's alteration from year to year, but my overall life experience seems to be settling into a predictable overall pattern. Oh, yes, mixed in there is an interest in UCLA basketball and the NBA playoffs (and the contemporary basketball elite's relationship to the basketball elite of history). And mixed into all of this is work (after 8 years of university scheduling, life takes on entirely different patterns, and academic life has its own all-consuming elements). But football is the motor that makes the pattern run.

September-December: Madness. Sheer madness. There is no other way to describe the all-consuming nature of the NFL regular season. My wife won a portable DVD player in a radio station "football widows" promotion. I don't think I'm exaggerating.

January: Weening. Playoff football is exciting, but with less teams and games, it does not take over the totality of my life.

February-May: Enjoying the world. Following sports and thinking of football, of course, but not with an all-consuming passion. This is a time for walks, for reading, for culture, for quality time to lead an authentic life.

June-July: Still enjoying the world; no school means I have time to read more of what I want. But anticipation of Fantasy Football starts to suck up more and more of existence. A separate madness of football card collecting takes hold, too.

August: Last chances for a quality life, with intense anticipation of what is to come. Football cards are at peak time. The berserk begins to re-emerge.

September-December: the Berserk madness returns.

I can't exaggerate how different my life, mind, emotions, and entire attitude changes in the cyclical pattern over this time.

Luckily, my academic/work patterns are matching my football patterns, as the next few months I will have less access to the internet (most of these blog entries are made in my office between classes) and less football content to write about, anyway. So in the summer, you'll hear less from me at this sports blog, but the content you'll miss out on would have been lousy, anyway.

"Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

Beards seem to be in fashion. Around campus I seem to notice them more. There's been some commentary about bearded basketballers in the NBA playoffs. Jake Plummer transcended the concept of a sports beard, and now superstars like LeBron James are even sporting old-school facial hair.

Since I've let laziness at shaving evolve into a full-fledged beard, I am very happy with this development. I expect to be mistaken for a professional athlete any time now. I'm a little bit afraid to go to the grocery store, for fear of being mobbed by screaming hordes demanding my autograph. I might have to get a shirt that says "I had a beard before having a beard was cool."

Why Favre sucks

Favre sucks because Favre refuses to adapt his game for any reason. That's it. According to Bob McGinn (via PFT):

Telling his story for the first time since deciding April 25 to play another year, Favre was even more defiant than usual Saturday when the subject of his 29 interceptions was brought up in a non-accusatory fashion.

"I don't regret the way I play or the way I approach it," Favre said during a 30-minute session with reporters at the Packers' minicamp. "I don't feel like I should change. For me to change now, it would be time for me to leave."

According to Favre, his career-low passer rating of 70.9 (58.0 in the last 10 games), which ranked 31st in the National Football League, was more a reflection of circumstances and the personnel around him than slippage in his own level of performance.

"Throwing 20 touchdowns and 29 interceptions, all the experts out there have their opinions and theories," Favre said. "To be honest with you, I don't think I played any differently than any other year. When you're down, I'm not going to sit there and throw 3-yard check-downs and let the clock run out. I'm going to take chances.

"There will be people that agree with that and people who don't agree with that. I really don't care."

That's the problem. Great QBs are able to adjust their games for different circumstances. Maybe those circumstances are diminished arm strenght. Maybe those circumstances are an unwillingness to take a hit in later age. And maybe the circumstances are less talent around the QB. Either way, it is a total refusal to adjust and adapt that leads to a 29 interception season.

In the past, because of his immense talent, the immense talent of players around him, and good coaching, Favre was mostly successful playing his way. Now, he's not. In my opinion, that's a combination of his own diminished talent, the diminished talent around him, and poor coaches that are unwilling to do anything about Favre's erratic decision making.

When you play absolutely terrible in every way, then come out and defiantly claim that you will not be changing the way you play at all, well, then you deserve to go down as the guy who breaks the all-time interception record.

And if you watched the Packers last season, you know that it was a lot of terrible decision making that cost the Packers games and Favre interceptions. It's not the talent around a QB that makes him throw into double coverage in the end zone. It's not the talent around him that forces him to repeatedly hurl the ball deep to the end zone no matter what with time left for a sustained drive (ala Philly last season).

Personally, I'm glad we can expect more of the same from Shitdick next season.

Is Tim Duncan a forward, or a center?

Tim Duncan is listed as a power forward (Basketball-reference lists him as a F-C, but most people talk about him as a forward). He is, by any standard, one of the best basketball players of all-time, but his position often gives him the status of greatest ever at his position.

But I don't think Duncan is a forward. I think he's a center.

When Duncan came into the league, there were about 5 teams on which he would have been assigned to play forward; on any other, he'd be a center. Well, he got drafted by one of those 5 teams, so he "became" a forward.

But on Sunday against the Mavs, Duncan was often on the court with four other guards or swingmen. Some of the time the second tallest player on the floor was Michael Finley. He was the only player posting up. He was the only player with his back to the basket. He was the only Spur getting any production near the basket, with rebounds and with strong to-the-basket postup moves.

Much of the time, there is no way to call any other Spur on the court a center.

It could be that in the current evolutionary state of basketball, there is no real "center." That's fine--then call Duncan a forward. But when comparing him to all-time forwards, keep that in mind. If we called Duncan a center, we would consider him a top-10 player at his position. At the highest, I'd rank him 6th (behind Kareem, Wilt, Russell, Shaq, and Hakeem). There's also Mikan, Reed, and Cowens to consider. Moses Malone, too, though I've always thought of him as a forward, not a center (I'm probably completely wrong on that. Basketball-reference lists him as C-F).

Duncan's game, though, is a center's game.

A pox on ALL your houses

You know when somebody goes through something really bad, and he/she says something like "I wouldn't wish this on anybody," or even "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy"?

Well, I've been through the Viking "Love Boat" fiasco. And I wish this on fans of every single other one of the NFL's 31 teams. I also wish it on fans of every other sports team. Then, THEN, you'll know what it is to suffer. Then you'll know terminal agony. Then you'll know what it is to have a chip on your shoulder about everything, and to flare up in hatred at anybody.

Because the love boat isn't going away. Deadspin uses just about any excuse to bring it up. The only sportswriters who don't bring up something related to a boat every time they mention the Vikings for any reason are those who have already done so repeatedly and have worn out anything they can say.

For years, fans of the Vikings will be tormented by lousy puns, stupid jokes, and vapid sarcasm. Seriously, at what point will Viking boat jokes seem no longer appropriate? Does everbody who was on the 2005 roster have to be gone? Will we ever shake this?

So, as you other fans occasionally feel miserable, imagine never being able to read anything about your favorite team without a terrible punchline being involved.

NBA: My favorite non-MVP seasons

1996-97: Glen Rice
I always thought Glen Rice was a fun player to watch, and in 96-97, he burst out with an incredible season. Take away '97, and his career high ppg was 22.3, which he achieved 3 times. In '97, he averaged 26.8 ppg for the Charlotte Hornets. He was an outside shooter and dynamic scorer that, for one season, seemed unstoppable. He was willing the Hornets to victory that season--he was unguardable in the regular season. I personally got to see him destroy the Wolves that year. He just single-handedly dominated.

1993-94: Scottie Pippen
After Jordan retired the first time, I don't think there were a lot of high hopes for the Bulls. Pippen led the Bulls to 55 wins, and only fell in 7 games against the Knicks in the playoffs. Pippen is without a doubt one of the most versatile basketball players to ever step on the hardwood, and he did it all that year: 22 ppg, 8.7 rebounds, 5.6 assists, 2.9 steals. The Triangle Offense was perfect for his skills--Pippen more than anybody I've seen was a Point Forward for that team.

Fran Foley is out

I haven't really paid much attention to the Fran Foley resume debacle. All I really care about is that the Vikings win a Super Bowl in my lifetime. Lying on your resume is bad, but I didn't figure that the the Vice President of Player Personnel doing so would be anything that would hold the Vikes back from otherwise winning a championship.

Still, it's good that he's out. What sports organization has been made fun of more over the previous 4 years? Is any other franchise even close? So there's no reason to keep a guy around who can bring further embarrassment to the franchise.

Texan fans: it's not worth it to coax you off the ledge. You're probably making the right decision.

Just about everything that can be said about the Texans drafting Mario Williams has been said. But a moment ago a memory, a revelation, sparked by this.

Remember in November and December when fans of teams like the Texans were opening rooting for their team to lose games so that they could get the #1 pick? Have you ever rooted against your team for reasons of draft, coach firings, or anything else? I have. It kind of sucks. But it REALLY sucks to just be watching a terrible team and feeling only despair. So you cling to any sort of hope.

So in December, Texan fans must have been despairing but living on the fumes of "We could get Reggie Bush." And then, of course, the Rose Bowl, and fantasies of Vince Young running around in a Texan uniform gave these miserable fans something to smile about.

Can you imagine the utter horror these fans would have felt at the time, miserable watching their 2-14 team, actually rooting for their team to lose more games, if they had known that it would all lead not to Bush, or Young, or even Leinart? Had they known no obvious savior would rise up from the rubble to lead them to future glory?

When things happen in our lives, they usually take on a sense of reality--not always easily, but they do. But when we try imagine terrible things happening in the future, it all seems surreal and dreamy. Texan fans today may be unhappy--but get Doc Brown and Marty to loan you the DeLorean go back to December and tell Houston fans they'd get the #1 pick and use it on a DE from NC State, and watch the despair sink in. In Thomas Harris's novels, Hannibal Lecter collects stories of church roofs collapsing, because he enjoyed the loss of faith. Wouldn't it take a Lecter-like sadism to have to share this with a Texan fan at the time?

By the way, I've begun searching for Houston Texan fan blogs. I just HAVE TO read these throughout 2006. So if you know of any blogs specific to the Texans, pass them my way.

A quibble with my hero, Dr. Z (and the problem of draft grading)

In Dr. Z's draft report card, he writes:

Do you know what's the most unfair tactic used by we journalistas? Ripping some team's draft choice about five years after the fact by going down the roster of Pro Bowlers who were drafted later and saying, "Look who they could have had." A trick like that takes no brains and no work. All you need is a roster. Everybody does it. And I'm here to put a stop to it, do you hear?

No, folks. You rate the draft at the time and then you keep your trap shut. None of that hindsight stuff.

Now I'm a teacher; I grade students. As a teacher, I attempt to be as objective as possible, and I attempt to give grades with as much material for evaluation as I can reasonable acquire.

In fact, it is much more reasonable to give draft grades 5 years later. At that point, players have built up material for evaluation. Grading is supposed to be as objective as possible--to give the grades immediately after the draft is a subjective assessment, not an objective assessment.

What if I walked into class on the first day, asked each student to give me some sample writing assignments from high school, then gave each student a grade for the semester? That would be UTTERLY INSANE, right? I can't grade students on the first day; I must wait to give a graded assessment until they have built up a reasonable body of work.

So if you're going to call something your draft "grade" or "report card," you should wait 3-5 years. If you want to assess it right now, call it something else. And don't insult those who attempt to make objective evaluations of drafts after there's reasonable data.